Why Do Mums Feel Lonely? The Answer Might Surprise You – And Bring You Comfort

Woman sitting alone on a park bench at sunset, symbolising loneliness

Loneliness & Disconnection for Women and Parents in the UK, 4-Part Blog Series

Part 1: Understanding Loneliness and Disconnection: Why It Matters More Than Ever

Part 2: Disconnection and Ways to Reconnect

Part 3: The Impacts of Loneliness and Disconnection on Health

Part 4: Disconnection and Loneliness Within Relationships - What to Do About It

Part 1: Understanding Loneliness and Disconnection:
Why It Matters More Than Ever

Loneliness and disconnection have become defining struggles of modern life. For women and parents of young children in the UK, these feelings can be especially overwhelming. Despite being constantly surrounded by people—partners, colleagues, and children—a growing number of women are silently battling a sense of disconnection: from themselves, from others, and from the lives they’d imagined they’d be living.

That’s why this 4-part blog series is so important.

We’re going to explore what disconnection and loneliness truly are, how to recognise the signs within yourself, and what simple but powerful steps you can take to reconnect.

Here’s how the series will unfold:

  • Part 1 (this post) will introduce you to the realities of loneliness and disconnection, especially through the lens of being a woman or a parent in today’s UK.
  • Part 2 will dive deeper into what disconnection looks like in day-to-day life and offer practical tools for reconnecting with yourself and others.
  • Part 3 will unpack the real health impacts of loneliness—mental, emotional and physical.<
  • Part 4 will focus on how disconnection and loneliness show up in romantic or family relationships, and what to do when you’re feeling lonely even when you’re with someone.

This is a huge topic. That’s why I’ve broken it into four bite-sized blogs, each building on the last. 

Let’s start by getting honest about what loneliness and disconnection look like in real life.

Part 1 – Understanding Loneliness and Disconnection: Why It Matters More Than Ever

What Does Disconnection Really Feel Like?

Disconnection often doesn’t show up with flashing neon signs. Instead, it creeps in quietly:

  • You feel numb, empty, or overwhelmed.
  • You struggle to identify or express your emotions.
  • You go through the motions but feel like life is happening around you, not with you.
  • You feel detached from your body, directionless, or as if you’ve lost a sense of purpose.
  • You have difficulty empathising or connecting with others, even your loved ones.
    You no longer recognise yourself in the mirror.
  • Your thoughts seem noisy and relentless.

If this resonates with you, please know: you are not broken. You are not alone. You are experiencing very common, deeply human, feelings.

Close-up of hands clasped in lap, showing quiet emotional tension

These signs are frequently felt by many of us, especially among mothers, carers, and women juggling work, family and life expectations. Often, we’re so focused on just surviving the day that we forget to check in with how we’re feeling. We fall into a cycle of doing, achieving, fixing… and somewhere along the way, we lose our connection to ourselves.

Woman curled up on sofa looking down, feeling emotionally low

My Personal Story of Disconnection

I’ve been there many times. And when I’m in that place, it’s like someone has turned the dial down on my entire life. The joy, the peace, the purpose… it all feels distant. I’m busy but not fulfilled. Surrounded but still lonely.

What I’ve learned is that feeling disconnected is not a sign of failure; it’s a signal. A whisper from your inner self asking for attention, compassion, and reconnection.

Disconnection as a Coping Mechanism

Our brains are incredible machines designed to protect us from overwhelm, trauma, and pain. Disconnection can be your body’s way of shielding you from emotional overload. But what begins as a short-term coping mechanism can become a long-term pattern if we never stop to re-evaluate.

If you’ve been in this space for months or even years, don’t panic. Awareness is the first step to healing.

First Step: Name It and Own It

One of the bravest things you can do is acknowledge where you’re at without shame or self-judgement. Many of us believe that admitting to feeling disconnected means admitting weakness or failure. I’m here to tell you it most certainly doesn’t. It means you’re human!

Try asking yourself gently: “What’s really going on here? What am I missing? How did I get to this place?”

For parents, the answer often lies in the constant juggling act of caring for others while neglecting our own needs. The never-ending to-do lists. The social isolation that can come with raising children. The guilt of wanting more than just parenthood. It all adds up.

Open journal and pen next to a cup of tea, symbolising self-reflection

How I Reconnect With Myself

These are some of the practices I personally return to when I notice myself slipping into disconnection:

  • Movement: Even when I don’t want to, I move my body. A walk, dancing in the kitchen, a gym session—it brings me back into my body and breaks the cycle of numbness.
  • Sharing With a Friend: Vulnerability isn’t easy, especially for people-pleasers or those in caretaker roles (I’m in recovery for both!). But telling a trusted friend, “I’m struggling” has never failed to help me, even if uncomfortable at the time.
  • Journaling or Voice Notes: When I’m not ready to talk, I write or record voice notes. Getting those circling thoughts out of my head gives me more clarity.
  • Meditation or Breathwork: I don’t aim for perfection, just presence. Even 5 minutes of stillness helps me hear my inner voice again.
  • Inner Child Check-Ins: I talk to my younger self, often using Havening techniques. I remind her how far we’ve come and soothe the triggers that might be rooted in old beliefs or wounds.
  • Connecting With Others: Even when I feel most inclined to isolate, I push myself to see friends. Every time, it reminds me who I am and that I do have a circle of friends that care about me.
Woman dancing or stretching in a sunlit room, reconnecting with her body

Why This Matters For Women and Parents in the UK

According to research from the Campaign to End Loneliness, over 3.8 million people in the UK often feel lonely. Women, especially mothers and carers, are disproportionately affected. The difficult postnatal period, career pressures, gender roles, and emotional labour all contribute.

We need to start naming this, talking about it and supporting each other through it, because the cost of loneliness and disconnection isn’t just emotional, it affects our health, our relationships, and our future selves.

What’s Next?

In Part 2, we’ll explore disconnection in more detail and introduce practical, everyday tools to help you reconnect with yourself and others.

If today’s post resonated with you, please take a moment to reflect: where are you feeling disconnected right now?

And remember, you are not alone.

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